Why You Haven’t Found Success

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If I were to ask you, “how do you feel about success?” How would you answer? Many would say: I deserve it, I want more of it, I am working towards it. But if this is the case why do so many people not feel successful in their lives now?

Well, when most think of succeeding in life, they think of material benefits like big cars and fancy trips. They think of a fulfilled family and personal life. And lastly, they think of awards or recognition. Certainly, being successful can include all of these things and more.

My personal thoughts are that humanity, as a species, is a very jealous one. We often compare our looks, careers and talents to those around us. We also compare our levels of success. By doing this we can wallow in self pity, trick ourselves into thinking we aren’t worthy of our dreams, or don’t think outside the box to actually achieve them.

Below I’ve listed my top 6 reasons as to why you may not feel successful right now in your life and what you can do about it:

1. You have dreams rather than goals- Dreams are oft pushed aside as flight and fancy. Whereas, goals are realistic and tangible possibilities.

2. You don’t want to upset anyone- You will never be able to please everyone. Learn to stand up for yourself and expect others to respect you as an individual. If you aren’t looking out for yourself, who is?

3. You make excuses- Giving excuses as a reason to postpone your business or familial goals simply postpones happiness. And the suffering as a result of your excuses means you are either afraid, or you don’t want it badly enough. Take responsibility for yourself.

4. You don’t think they are smart/witty/good enough- if you have low self esteem this can be a very powerful inhibitor. Remember, there’s a difference between realistic goals versus down right crazy aspirations. Try some positive affirmations to build your confidence. Or perhaps get a trusted individual to list your talents and strengths.

my experience is that we are often far more capable than we think.

5. You are afraid- Take chances. Fight the fear and make the leap of faith. You’ll never know what could have happened if you continue to play it safe.

6. You don’t recognise how far you’ve already come- take solace in physically listing how far you have come already. Perhaps you aren’t as shy as when you first started out, or you’re no longer a gossip. Maybe you are learning to control your temper. Perhaps you’ve been promoted recently or enjoy a wonderful marriage or relationship. All of these are facets of or steps to further success. Take time to enjoy and recognise these triumphs.

In the end, it all comes down to whether you have a rich or poor state of mind. A poverty mindset always sees the cup as half-empty, and therefore has nothing to do with how much money we currently make or could have. It is a disposition that we cultivate as we wallow in our weaknesses, and compare ourselves to others. thankfully this mindset can be reversed if we really work at it. The reason, I believe, we typically see the cup as half-empty is because we’re not reaching our full capacity or potential.

The other reason we see the cup as half empty is due to how you yourself define success. The Webster’s definition, which is, “The achievement of something desired, planned, attempted, or a man who makes everyone jealous because he has the best cellular phone on the market and the best cable and Internet package money can buy.”

In order to combat any jealousy, inferiority or fear you may currently have. There’s a definition of Success I would like to suggest to you. And that is that success is nothing to do with money. Success should be a deep inner joy, of having contributed to the world in some way. Large or small, but on a daily basis. Success shouldn’t be a coveted lifestyle or having fancy things. Success should be a constant state of growth, knowing that you tried your hardest and continue to do so. Success should be knowing that you found your wings and decided to fly.

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